In Canada, we are at the post office maybe once every few months to mail something too large to fit in a mailbox. In Italy, the post office is the place for everything. Italians frequent the post office to, among other things, pay bills or taxes, do their banking (yes, there are other banks, but the post office has their own banking system and ATMs), set up a mobile phone or internet service, and of course, mail items and buy stamps. It’s also the only place where one can submit an immigration application like a residency permit.
The trip to the Italian post office isn’t a straightforward line-up system, in most cases. Instead, you use a touchscreen kiosk to select the reason for your visit and receive a ticket with a number and letter. Overhead boards inform you which ticket is next in line and when your number/letter combo is up, you had better hustle to the appropriate window because they will move to the next person rapidly.
Week number uno after moving to Italy, we had several encounters with our local post office, which offered some of THE BEST examples of why non-Italians find the Poste Italiane quite frustrating. Please treat the following as my love letter to you, the Italian post office.
For further context, you should know that our local Poste Italiane is open from 8:20am to 1:35pm. On Saturdays, they close at 12:35pm and Sundays they are, of course, closed. Why 8:20 and not 8:00 or 8:30? Why 1:35 and not 1:30 or 2:00? Stop asking silly questions!
I’ll describe three of our favourite visits so far, all in our first two weeks in Italy.
Visit 1: Drop off of residency application forms (40 minutes)
We needed to pick up a package with forms to complete for our residency permit. These could only be collected from the post office and the package (or “kit”) is free, you just need to ask for it. Our first attempt at obtaining a kit from a post office in a larger city failed as they ran out of kits. This happens, so attempt two was at our town’s vastly smaller post office. We waited until our ticket was called, ran to the window and asked, in Italian, for the kit. Success!
We took the kit home, filled it in quickly (as we were prepared) and returned to the post office around noon (remember, it closes at 1:35pm). Another ticket, another lengthy wait. Then a kerfuffle occurred! We overheard only a tiny portion as we didn’t have our Italian ears ready to catch what was being said. Apparently a woman at the kiosk informed a man that the office would close early and they couldn’t serve him, despite the fact that he, and a handful of others had been waiting for over 35 minutes at this point. The woman (who had also issued us the kit earlier that day) looked in our direction and wagged her finger “no”. My wife looked at me strangely and muttered “what the heck is going on?” We approached the window and in fast Italian, the woman explained they were closing and the reason for our visit (the residency kit) couldn’t be processed in time. So, after some expletives, defeated and perplexed why an hour before closing we were rejected, we left with our heads hanging. The score, if you are counting: Poste Italiane: 1; Us: 0.
Visit 2: Drop off residency application form ー take 2 (50 minutes)
The next day after the rejection scandal, we got up early ready to fight another day! We were one of the first patrons at the post office and waited only about 15 minutes to get to a window. Yay! So close to success. The agent pulled out our forms and instantly looked confused. He promptly called over his manager. After a lengthy discussion, he asked where was our bollettino (a slip we were supposed to fill in showing we paid for the application). Our bad, it had been stuck at the bottom of the envelope. We had to complete it in front of the agent.
While we did that, he asked us via his Google Translate app, how much was it to submit the application. Huh? We trusted the post office would know how much it cost for an application they accepted and processed on behalf of the immigration office. Nope. Apparently this was not information they had available. It would be similar to if you went to a post office to submit your passport application (which can only be picked up from the passport office itself or a post office in Canada) and Canada Post had no idea how much it cost to apply for a passport. I digress, as we were looking up the cost online, the agent and his manager went back for round two of discussions. No answer arrived. We deduced the amount through online research and said we’d gladly pay that amount. Nope, not possible, the rates were set and that wasn’t an option on the system. Okay, coolio, we agreed to pay the higher amount assuming it’s better to pay more than not enough, right?
What ensued was similar to that scene from the cartoon version of Frosty the Snowman where the train operator processes Frosty’s ticket to the North Pole. There were so many things to sign, so many pieces of paper, shuffling, stamping, taping, all while we stood patiently in silence ignoring the glaring looks of patrons behind us as we had been planted at the window for over 30 minutes.
Finally, a break-through. The agent stopped, asked us a question with the word “marzo” (March) in it. I had no clue what was being asked but responded “si” nonetheless and we were given a piece of dot matrix style paper with our appointment time for the immigration office faintly printed on it at the top.
And then, we were allowed to leave with our application, apparently, submitted. Phew. For those of you keeping track: Poste Italiane: 1; Us: 1
Visit 3: Buying a stamp (45 minutes ー no joke)
As though the last few visits to the post office had taught us nothing (time heals all wounds apparently) we casually sauntered back to the same post office a week later to buy one Zone 2 stamp which would allow us to mail a letter to Canada. Simple transaction, right? In my mind, it would go like this…long wait, followed by an exchange in Italian “I’d like to buy a Zone 2 stamp” and “yes, here it is, please pay us XX Euros”. Finito!
Instead, it went like this. The place was packed, as usual, so once we got our ticket, we drew straws and I got to wait outside while Sarah waited for our number to be called. At the window, she explained to the agent that we had a Zone 1 stamp already on the letter, but instead needed a Zone 2 stamp as the letter needed to reach Canada. The agent (different from the previous two) looked perplexed. This is a common expression, evidently, at the Poste Italiane. He spoke with another agent, then the manager and returned to the window indicating they could issue a refund for the Zone 1 stamp. My wife explained that a refund was unnecessary, either remove it, toss it or give it to someone else or leave it on and add the Zone 2 stamp. This caused even more confusion and the agent, a colleague and the manager retreated to the back of the office to discuss.
Minutes and minutes went by. Patron after patron entered the post office and left, with Sarah still standing in front of an empty window. Every 5 minutes, the agent would return to say “cinque minuti” (“five minutes”). But still, no Zone 2 stamp. Outside, I was getting worried. At one point, all agents were in the back discussing this troubling situation. No one was serving patrons at the windows. We were about to have a mutiny on our hands. I started messaging Sarah: “Are you purchasing property? Or taking out a complex mortgage?” At this point, we were both convinced the full Poste Italiane team was literally creating a Zone 2 stamp from scratch.
More minutes passed, agents returned to the windows and finally, 45 minutes into our endeavour, the agent returned with a Zone stamp, placed it on the letter and, after all that, left the Zone 1 stamp as well. Whatever. Ahh! Success! No points were awarded, what a disaster.
So in conclusion, my top tips for surviving the Poste Italiane:
- Go before the post office opens to be one of the first patrons served
- Do not arrive in the last 30 minutes of operation as you will likely not get served at all
- Do your homework so you know exactly what to ask for and key words (if not the whole request) in Italian
- Plan to be there for 45 minutes to an hour ー if you are out of there any quicker, it will be a welcome surprise. Treat yourself to an espresso and pasty, you deserve it!
- Patience is a virtue, take a deep breath and treat the experience as an exercise in maintaining your zen state